Friday, May 27, 2005

T.G.I.F. (Thank God I'm Fabulous??)

When becoming a real woman, living in the real world, dressing for success, and making real world money? we as Christians become to fabulous for our Christian label?


I've found that I've morphed into this person, this thing that I sometimes really DO NOT like. To some, I'm this hometown girl who loves her husband, loves to hunt and fish with her dad, likes "antique hunting" with her mom, likes to be outside, has dance parties in her house with crazy other girls, has a messy house, and loves dogs.

To others, I'm a (somewhat) successful business woman, has manicured hands, shops for expensive clothes, and is very unsatisfied with my outside appearance.


How do we balance our selves with what God WANTS us to be? Just today, I was talking with a good friend about possible future money oppurtunities. Yes, I need to be out of debt, I really have the time to "put on another mask"...just to service my money hungry self?

Yuck yuck yuck!

Ok, lets get to the basics:

1. We need to make money to survive. ITS JUST THE FACTS! Unless, we has free land, and a miracle crop that needs no attendance...and by the way, does that crop produce cotton and wool to make clothes?...WE HAVE TO MAKE MONEY!
2. God does not like debt. Its all over the scriptures...PAY YOUR DEBTS!!!
3. God does not like us to be "of the world", but we are definitely IN IT! So?... what do we do?

I think that there is definitely a balance somewhere (scriptures do back me up on that)...but right now, I am WAY off course. I really consentrate on what others think. YUCK!!!! Why in the world?

So, I guess I'm back in the "big fish"...or did I really ever get out? I'm living life in what I think is Gods will...but I think that I'm too self absorbed and happy in this "fish gut" that I forgot that God had a bigger plan for me...


Well...Back on my knees I go. I thought I was living life "ok", but really I was just in the "statis kwow" ( clue on how to spell the real word)

LORD...HELP!!!!! I want to be "real" with EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE that I come across. I do not want to be a money hungry monster!

...maybe I should read "The Raggamuffin Gospel"...I've heard that book has lots of insight into this type of stuff.

yours truly, the eternal student.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

How to apply "fake tanning" lotion properly?

Last night, I discovered that I had some sisters that had been subject to "streakage" in the past. This ofcourse being because they did not know the proper / Shelli way of putting on that fake tanning lotion stuff.

Seeing as how I was ADDICTED to the stuff in college, I feel that I should share my knowledge.

1. I believe the best stuff to use the "Nutrigena" spray on kind.

2. Before you start...take a shower, exfoliate REALLY GOOD, and shave your legs.

3. Put regular lotion on. Put it on pretty thick and make sure its all absorbed in.

4. Lay a dark colored towell on the floor. Next to the towell, put a large bowl with water and a thing of soap too.

5. While sitting on the towell, start spraying the "tanning" spray on your legs. MOVE QUICKLY!!! ...rubbing it in circular motion. NO UP AND DOWN MOTION!!!! This will help with the "no streak" result. After each limb you've applied it, wash your hands IMMEDIATELY. (hence the reason for the bowl of water and soap) No one likes yucky orange palms.

6. Start doing the same routine for all over the body. Remember to rub it in in circular motion and wash your hands after you've applied it to every limb.

7. YOUR FACE: This is a scary area... I suggest (from experience) that you put a little dab of your favorite facial moisturizer on your fingers and spray the tanning spray onto that, mixing it together, and applying quickly and thoroughly to your face. DON'T FORGET YOUR NECK AND EARS.

Hope this helps...
Be Beautiful!!! - Shelli

Monday, May 23, 2005

10 Reasons why I'm White Trash...

10. My house is a complete pit. When people come over, we throw stuff in the spare bedroom...
9. My dogs collar has "bling bling" that goes jingle jingle when she walks...
8. My everyday shoe apparral are "flip flops"...
7. I have a cousin in jail...
6. I have a CB "handle"...(calamity jane)...
5. I've been through a hunters safety course...
4. I know how to "gut" a dead animal...
3. I work with people that say "yuns" when refering to a large group of individuals...
2. I can sing just about every single word to "Fancy" by Reba McIntire...

...and the number one reason why I'm White Trash....


Friday, May 20, 2005

snake, Snake, SNAKE IN MY YARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This afternoon, I was playing with my sweet little puppy in my backyard. (yep, I'm off work today!!!!!! woo hoo!!!!!!!!) While back there, we both stumbled upon a snake...I stopped frozen and looked at it...she stopped, cocked her head, and BOLTED THE OTHER WAY!!!! MY DOG IS A WIMP!!!! She left me for dead! This beast that tempted Eve, could have wrapped itself around my head, hissed and bit my head off...all the dog is scraping at the back door, barking, and wanting to be INSIDE OUR HOUSE!

SNAKE FACTS: It was viscious looking! It was black and had an orange line running down its back. ok ok was like maybe a foot long and did not have the head of a poisonis snake...but still IT COULD HAVE BIT MY HEAD OFF!!!


Thursday, May 19, 2005

STAR WARS GALORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hurray hurraw to George Lucas for redeaming himself after the StarPoop Episode 1 and StarPoop Episode 2. (although, I think 2 was better than 1)

WARNING: This is no exaduration...George Lucas has ordered that all THX theaters up their volume levels for the movie. makes the movie even MORE awesome! ...but, the previews and trailers that were not necassarily formatted for that much volume are DEAFENING!!!!! The workers of the movie theater even came in early to "pre-warn" us of the volume level. If ( wait...) WHEN I go see it again, I'm bringing earplugs for the trailers...NO LIE!


Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Conditional Love?...

In marriage, I'm finding that sometimes it is hard for me to be "un-selfish". I want things my way a lot of the time, and my husband puts up with it.

...have you ever read the book "The 5 Love Languages"?...muy bueno! (You should read it if you are in a marriage, about to be married, or single. I would not suggest it if you are just casually dating or if you are dating more seriously but not going towards marriage right now. The reason being because of the "physical touch" one.) The book talks about the different ways that we as individuals like to recieve love and to give love. The 5 languages are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service. Usually, the gift that you like to receive is the one that you are natural to give to your spouse.

Well...I must be some language mutant!!!!!!! The language I understand is not the one I speak.

Why do I live in the tower of babble in love languages???

I am quick to receive gifts, physical touch, and quality time. (and physical touch is not always can be a mere shoulder rub) But I am AWFULL at speaking his needed languages. My poor husband!, is LOVE CONDITIONAL on these things???? Can one continue to feel loved by their spouse (or soon to be spouse) if they are not receiving the things that they "need"? Can my husband still feel loved by me if I fail in showering him in the love language that he speaks?

Oh ye people that have been married longer than help help!!! I being a selfish brat???? Probably.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


If you come to get a loan for a car...and the person who is doing that loan has an entire conversation with you about the car you are purchasing...and the car she is talking about is a different car than what you are buying...WOULDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING????????? GAH!

Yah, I just lended these people some money for a car that they were not EVEN BUYING!!!!! They called me back about 30 minutes later to say "you know...we just realized that you did that loan for a Ford. Hun...we bought a Chevy. And...that Chevy is about $1000 more.". WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL ME THAT EARLIER???? The purchase order from the car lot said it was a Ford, but see, they changed their minds...and I never received a new purchase order on a Chevy. UGH! They read papers, signed, and received a check!!!!!!!!!!! Pay attention people...we're dealing with money...not Star Wars trading cards.

Speaking of StarWars. I'm going at 12:01 am on Wednesday!!!!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!! I'm so excited. But...I'm going to be SO tired Thursday at work. Dang! I'm trying to talk my best friend into going with our group, but she's being a poo poo face about it. Thats right...poo poo on you friend!

Well...Big Gulps huh...alright...see ya later!

Monday, May 16, 2005

God...from whom all BLESSINGS flow!

Do you ever find yourself in a FUNK?...

The truth behind my job: It's a blessing! When it comes down to is a HUGE blessing. Yes, I complain quite a bit about very stupid things...actually... A LOT. But, its because, I've found myself to be in (what I call) "a current state of FUNK". The only thing that is bad about my current employment status is that I have to drive 30 minutes there, 30 minutes back, and my co-workers just don't like me very much. ( I think they also don't "get" my sense of humor) They had it pretty easy around here before me, and now...there's a boss. And darn it, wouldn't you know...I'm the type of person that feeds off of other peoples opinions! YUCK! I hate that about myself. If you are familiar with the DISC profile...I am a very very high "I". Which means that I am always trying to please...always trying to put on a show...and always needing to be RIGHT in the middle of all the action! Well, team that I work with did not want that type of person. STINK! HOWEVER, things are getting much much better, and I'm blessed with great management above me. My direct boss is great! She's sassy, funny, and genuinely cares about people. Her boss is also great. He is a highly educated man who looks at the big picture, see's the end result, and will do what it takes to get there. He is a great encourager. SO WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I COMPLAINING ABOUT????? I'm complaining because I'm just not living out my passion right now. Which is: missions and music.

My husband and I have a big 10 year plan! ( I know...I know..."does it coinside with Gods Plan?")...we think so. Our plan is for him to finish his bachelors, then off to seminary, somewhere in there have some kids, then to the full time mission field doing Gods work! the mean time, I have to work to support us. is the fun part: We are thinking about seminary in California...where is the headquarters to my job??....CALIFORNIA. Maybe...JUST MAYBE...God DID have our future in mind when he placed me here. Why can't I just be content in that?...well...I'm trying. I just need lots of encouragement and prayer. you my friends and family that are reading this...DO NOT LET ME COMPLAIN ABOUT MY JOB....IT IS A BLESSING DANG IT!

Friday, May 13, 2005

Oh Happy Day...(oh happy day)...Oh Happy Day-ee-ay.

Its a good day today! I had a free lunch, I got some new art for my office, my husband got paid, and my boss went back to Salt Lake. So...I'm not as stressed any more! Woo hoo! What ever shall I do with myself.

Can I just take a minute to talk about my wonderful husband? Who...for the sake of his identity, we shall call Bob Michaels.

Bob is wonderful! He is a full time student, he's got a job, he loves me to pieces, he thinks I'm beautiful, he loves the Lord with all of his heart, and he's about to embark on a wonderful journey to Ukraine to serve a ministry. I JUST THINK YOU ARE AWESOME BOB MICHAELS (AKA ROCKSTAR, AKA BOYFRIEND, AKA MY SOUL MATE, AKA PERSON WHO PUTS UP WITH MY SNORING AT NIGHT, AKA JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!) You are a man among men! You are stinkin' funny, you are outrageously hot, you have cool glasses and cool hair, you are a musician, you have facial hair at times...YOU ARE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! HEART FRAME AROUND YOUR FACE!!! it hot in here? or is it just me? OH ITS ME!

So, I'm trying to set some friends up. This journey is making me laugh because I'm starting to really really believe that I may have made a good "call" this time. They both are very very interested in what the other one is "thinking". Oh...JOY!!! I consider myself a darn good match maker, seeing as how the ONLY couple I ever set up has been married 3 years, and just had a baby. WOO HOO! I'm 1 for 1.

Ok, well, I guess I'll get back to work now. Woopdie doo!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

"Subway" biggest VICE!

There is a "Subway" sandwich place about 20 paces from my office. I can see the sign from my window, and it beckens me to partake of the goodness every single day.

Today, my tummy was filled with a toasted ham and chedder on Italian, SunChips, and the usual Ale (aka Dr.Pepper). Fattening...OH SO FATTENING!...but, while standing in line, I look at Jarrod (their version of Ronald McDonald) and think to myself "Well, its no Big Mac, Right?".

The ladies that make these wonderful wonders (Jenelle and Stacy) are starting to recognize my face as I walk in. They give a big "HELLO, WHAT ARE YOU HAVING TODAY???". As if they no my "normal" order. I wonder what they would do if I just said "the usual"?

My toes and fingernails are GORGIOUS today. Last night I went out with my home-girls from the southside, just north of the gas station, behind "Long John Silver" next to the house with the big white dog. (that one was for you Rockstar!) We went to a place called "ProfessioNail" in the Mall that is loaded with lovely little vietnemise ladies who specialize in making ME feel beautiful. Yeah for the Ladies who live to say "Short, Long?...Square, Round?"

Well, I'm working right I guess I should get back to that. Darn this Blog...maybe ITS my "vice"!!!!!

Later Tators!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

When the Cats in town from Salt Lake City...the Mouse shall have limited Blog time... boss is in town from Salt Lake City. Luckily (however) I love her to death. She's super nice. Those darn Mormans always are.

So, unfortunately...this week, my blog time will be very slight. Bummer!...just when I was starting to be ADDICTED!


Monday, May 09, 2005

Keys are expensive and panty-hose runners STINK...

Its Monday...grrr...

I went to get keys made for my office today, and it cost me $50 stinkin' bucks!...out of my own pocket!...and I wont get reimbursed for like 2 weeks...

My alergies are still kicking me in the butt, and the nasal drip is OH SO SEXY! I sound like a freak show when I talk, and my lips are chapped...

My dog got mud on me this morning...

No one has noticed my new cute highlights in my hair...

I have a runner in my hose...

I dropped a donut on my shirt...

This is a TERRIBLE HORRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD DAY! (thank you Alexander for passing it on to me)...


Friday, May 06, 2005

My Husband the Rockstar...My puppy the smarty pants...

Do you have a husband that is a badd ass drummer? Do you have a dog that is smarter than most people in the world? not!

My Husband is hot, he's a rockstar, he's strong, he has cool glasses and hair, he loves me, and he loves Jesus! What more could a chubby girl ask for? (maybe him holding a cookie cake with lots of frosting?...)

Justin and I have known each other since the 7th grade (yep...12 years and counting), and doesn't leave much to be "revealed". We've only been married 1 year, but it feels like 20. Which is AWESOME!

We've recently bumped up our household with a new little one named "Indiana". She is the cutest Golden Retriever puppy in the world...and she's ALL MINE...well, and Justins. He has WAY more patience with her than I do. I think he's going to be a better dad than me a mom. He takes the time to play with her, teach her new tricks, love on her...bathe her...blah blah blah. I'm like..."Indiana, SIT...good girl...wanna cookie?" And thats about as far as my "interaction" time goes. Then, I just let her run rampid, and jump all over me while I watch TV. Its a mutual understanding we have.

Poddy training SUCKS! Sometimes she does good...sometimes she does BAD! Everyone told us to "stick her nose it it" when she goes in the house...but we're thinking...DUDE!...SOMEONES GOTTA CLEAN THAT NOSE! So, we stick to holding her right in front of it and saying "BAD DOG" in a very deep and serious voice. It seems to be working, she hasn't gone inside the house in awhile. I hope I didn't just jinx it!

Well...thats my life in a nut shell right now. (help help...I'm in a nut shell)

More on my wonderful life later!


"THE BLOG"...isn't that a movie?

Oh, thats "The Blob". Which I think I've seen...or maybe it was on "Mystery Science Theater"...dang I miss that show.

Today kicked off with a sniffle, cough, cup 'o joe, and an extremely fattening cheese danish. DANG THESE ALERGIES!!!! They are TOTALLY getting on my nerves. I never had them growing up (like my sister Christi...her's were awful as a child), but in college...WHAM OH! They attacked, and have been a pain ever since. It was that darn "Campus Christian Fellowship" house I lived / loathed in. It had mold in the walls! I had bronchitis for a whole semester,...not to mention the MANY bottles of Nyquil I downed. ( a coughing drunk is never fun) The funny thing, was that my inhaler for the bronchitis was a "childs" inhaler which had a harmonica built right in. That way...the kid would know they were "breathing it in right". So, my friends would all make fun of me. "Shelli's playin' the blues again"...ha ha ha...the jokes on me! AGAIN!

Speaking of Music...I don't know that I'll be doing much singing this weekend 'cause of the alergies. Its my sunday on the rotation for the Praise team at church. I LIVE FOR THESE!!!...but probably not this weekend. Unless they are ok with the harmonies being a little more on the sultry / bluesy side. "Live from Arkansas...Ella Fitzgerald sings for Jesus". Hey...that would be an awesome concert.

Ok...gotta work...(work Shelli like know you do...NOT!!!)


Thursday, May 05, 2005 now I blog...BIG DEAL!

Time now 3:33 pm...MAKE A WISH! I wish I was in Italy...not Arkansas at work! Yep, being known as the girl who has a degree in music, but is in banking is NOT FUN! I should be doing Opera in Rome!!!!!

So, I know I'm pretty new at this...but I think its easy...right? We'll see. I have other friends who have blogs, and they seem here we go!

Oh Neil Young...sing it out! Yah, I'm listening to "I've been through the desert on a horse with no name..." That is Neil Young...right? You should name the horse "Horse"...then it would have a name, and be OH SO easy to remember. Then you could retitle the song to "I been through the desert with a horse that has "Horse" for a name..."

Wow, this is making me realize JUST HOW BORED I am at work. Usually we have a lobby maxed out with people anxious for loans...but not today for some reason. Hmmm...maybe they're busy naming their horses....or new cars that I helped pay for.

So, listen, recently...I've been a bit "down" (for lack of a better word). I'm sick of being chubby and in a "boring" profession. I used to be so so so much fun...and stinkin' funny! (According to Chris King and Tom Graney) But now...not so much. I just get up, go to work, eat, eat some more, come home, say "I love you" to my husband, and go to bed. Then...the next day, I do it all over again.

I think I'm really starting to drive my husband INSANE! ...along with myself. Maybe that can be the "purpose" of this modern world of words called a "blog". I can track my road to a new found sanity. Since I don't seem to have ANY right now.

Ok...more tomorrow!