Did you hear?...
JUNE 12, 2006:
UPDATE ON THIS POST: The gossiper has now become the gossipee. People here at work wont shut up about what happened last Thursday. Everyone keeps laughing at me and calling me an "idiot" and "dumb ass". They've also managed to tell enough people that it has made its way up the ranks. Both my immediate supervisor and the one above him have "called me into their office" to make sure I've cleared up any messes that I made. They both assure me that I'm not in trouble...but COME ON...they never would have found out if people would have just let it drop. So, yah...I'm experiencing the wrath now.
Hello...my name is Shelli, and I have a gossiping problem.
"HELLO SHELLI"...
Confess your sins before others...right? Well, here we go:
In the past 3 months, I have shattered the feelings of two inocent people that were mangled up in my gossip.
The First Instance:
I found out some information about someone...and instead of going to the person in question and asking them about it...I asked one of their co-workers, who inturn, told them that I was snooping around for the gossip. Well, the person whom the conversation was about, rightfully, called me on it. In a tearful sobbing voice, they asked me to come to them in the future for any information I was seeking. This could have TOTALLY ruined our relationship...but that person was SO filled with Gods Grace, that they forgave me, and we are friends still.
The Second and most recent:
Another friend of mine was deeply offended and saddened by the actions I chose to take the other day. In this case, I was overly stimulated by PMS and decided to rant and rave about this person. (By the way...this person whom I was gossiping about...is the NICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. This person would NEVER ever do anything to hurt you, would never talk bad about you, and would certainly do anything they could in their power to help you out if needed. ) They just happened to do one little tiny thing that "set me off" and it was all down hill from there. All these details and hateful words (all lies by the way) were stated in an email. An email that was SUPPOSED to go to another co-worker of mine, so that I may "vent". But, instead, this DUMB ASS (being me) sent the email to the person with whom I was speaking about. Who is so dumb to do a thing like that? Even worse...what Christian does this to people??????? But, yet again...God showed his grace on me through this person. This person told me that they knew I didn't mean it. And that they forgave me, and that our friendship was too strong to let something like this get in the way. And that we should just forget about it, and go have a beer.
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME???????????????????????????????????????
My friend "H" thinks that God is trying to "whip me into shape" basically. That he is truly trying to teach me a lesson. That he is allowing me to make these mistakes, and feel this bad, so that I can learn from it, truly experience his grace, and move on as a better person.
The thing that makes me SO sad is this: The second person is not a Christian. Actually...they have a rather bad taste in their mouth about Christianity. How in the WORLD could I EVER be "Christ" to that person now? I have totally ruined my witness.
I made Christ look like a fool.
I'm sorry to let you all down. I'm sorry that I'm a person who sins and hurts people. Please pray that God continues to heal me of this.
UPDATE ON THIS POST: The gossiper has now become the gossipee. People here at work wont shut up about what happened last Thursday. Everyone keeps laughing at me and calling me an "idiot" and "dumb ass". They've also managed to tell enough people that it has made its way up the ranks. Both my immediate supervisor and the one above him have "called me into their office" to make sure I've cleared up any messes that I made. They both assure me that I'm not in trouble...but COME ON...they never would have found out if people would have just let it drop. So, yah...I'm experiencing the wrath now.
Hello...my name is Shelli, and I have a gossiping problem.
"HELLO SHELLI"...
Confess your sins before others...right? Well, here we go:
In the past 3 months, I have shattered the feelings of two inocent people that were mangled up in my gossip.
The First Instance:
I found out some information about someone...and instead of going to the person in question and asking them about it...I asked one of their co-workers, who inturn, told them that I was snooping around for the gossip. Well, the person whom the conversation was about, rightfully, called me on it. In a tearful sobbing voice, they asked me to come to them in the future for any information I was seeking. This could have TOTALLY ruined our relationship...but that person was SO filled with Gods Grace, that they forgave me, and we are friends still.
The Second and most recent:
Another friend of mine was deeply offended and saddened by the actions I chose to take the other day. In this case, I was overly stimulated by PMS and decided to rant and rave about this person. (By the way...this person whom I was gossiping about...is the NICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. This person would NEVER ever do anything to hurt you, would never talk bad about you, and would certainly do anything they could in their power to help you out if needed. ) They just happened to do one little tiny thing that "set me off" and it was all down hill from there. All these details and hateful words (all lies by the way) were stated in an email. An email that was SUPPOSED to go to another co-worker of mine, so that I may "vent". But, instead, this DUMB ASS (being me) sent the email to the person with whom I was speaking about. Who is so dumb to do a thing like that? Even worse...what Christian does this to people??????? But, yet again...God showed his grace on me through this person. This person told me that they knew I didn't mean it. And that they forgave me, and that our friendship was too strong to let something like this get in the way. And that we should just forget about it, and go have a beer.
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME???????????????????????????????????????
My friend "H" thinks that God is trying to "whip me into shape" basically. That he is truly trying to teach me a lesson. That he is allowing me to make these mistakes, and feel this bad, so that I can learn from it, truly experience his grace, and move on as a better person.
The thing that makes me SO sad is this: The second person is not a Christian. Actually...they have a rather bad taste in their mouth about Christianity. How in the WORLD could I EVER be "Christ" to that person now? I have totally ruined my witness.
I made Christ look like a fool.
I'm sorry to let you all down. I'm sorry that I'm a person who sins and hurts people. Please pray that God continues to heal me of this.
posted by Shelli at
2:53 PM
4 Comments:
Well, Shelli, my name is Ellen and I also struggle with gossip.
I have struggled with it my whole life-- even when I was a little girl. Part of the problem is that I just love a juicy story, and part of the problem is that I am insecure with myself deep down. I somehow feel better about myself if someone else is "worse" than me. My ventings are usually a thinly veiled self-righteous attempt to convince myself that I am not as much a screw-up as I truly think that I am.
I hate my gossiping "tendency"... oh, let's face it, addiction. I still struggle with it on a daily basis, but coming clean about it has helped. I just wanted you to know that I of all people KNOW how awful you feel right now and that you would take it all back if you could-- because it was never about those people to begin with. It was really about you and your own secret fears.
I don't know if God is trying to "whip you into shape." It's probably a little presumptuous of anyone to decide what God's intentions are, when we are faced with our own shortcomings. In my own personal experience, God has been merciful and gentle with me, in teaching life lessons. Sometimes dealing with the consequences of my actions has been painful, but in those times, I am already hard enough on myself. God did not heap an extra dose of "tough love" on top of it. He just caught me as I fell.
As far as being a witness... life is not about being perfect. Especially for us Christians. Some of the best witnesses for Jesus have been the biggest screw-ups. Life is about being real, warts and all... not about being the perfect little Christian in the workplace who doesn't curse or smoke or watch "Scrubs". It's how you act AFTER you screw the pooch that counts. It's God's forgiveness that works the miracles-- not you.
I love you, and it will all work out.
Ellen and Shelli,
I think you are misunderstanding me if you believe that I think God is "heaping on an extra dose of tough love" and "trying to teach you a lesson" in an out to get you way.
We are all graciously taught or disciplined by our Father when we sin. Hebrews 12:6 tells us He disciplines those He loves.
What I mean by this is that we sin, and he allows us to experience the consequences of that sin so that we might see our need of Him and rest in His grace. He allows us to do this, when we are His children,and does not make us suffer the ultimate consequences of our sin (seperation from Him). His grace further extends in the fact that the people you've been caught by have forgiven you.
I don't think it's presumtuous to say that God is doing in Shelli's life, what He does in all our lives and what He promises us He will do... Refine us.
"H"
Don't worry "H", I knew what you meant...but in my scarcastic humor, it came across wrong in my blog.
I understood it just like you meant it. Thanks for your encouraging words...as always.
Hmmm.. being the one who almost received the email... I still cannot read or think about this without my stomach dropping.
Hi... my name is Nicole and I am addicted to gossip.. not that I spread it so much.. but I want to hear it....
I love you too.
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