JUNE 12, 2006:
UPDATE ON THIS POST: The gossiper has now become the gossipee. People here at work wont shut up about what happened last Thursday. Everyone keeps laughing at me and calling me an "idiot" and "dumb ass". They've also managed to tell enough people that it has made its way up the ranks. Both my immediate supervisor and the one above him have "called me into their office" to make sure I've cleared up any messes that I made. They both assure me that I'm not in trouble...but COME ON...they never would have found out if people would have just let it drop. So, yah...I'm experiencing the wrath now.
Hello...my name is Shelli, and I have a gossiping problem.
Confess your sins before others...right? Well, here we go:
In the past 3 months, I have shattered the feelings of two inocent people that were mangled up in my gossip.
The First Instance:
I found out some information about someone...and instead of going to the person in question and asking them about it...I asked one of their co-workers, who inturn, told them that I was snooping around for the gossip. Well, the person whom the conversation was about, rightfully, called me on it. In a tearful sobbing voice, they asked me to come to them in the future for any information I was seeking. This could have TOTALLY ruined our relationship...but that person was SO filled with Gods Grace, that they forgave me, and we are friends still.
The Second and most recent:
Another friend of mine was deeply offended and saddened by the actions I chose to take the other day. In this case, I was overly stimulated by PMS and decided to rant and rave about this person. (By the way...this person whom I was gossiping about...is the NICEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. This person would NEVER ever do anything to hurt you, would never talk bad about you, and would certainly do anything they could in their power to help you out if needed. ) They just happened to do one little tiny thing that "set me off" and it was all down hill from there. All these details and hateful words (all lies by the way) were stated in an email. An email that was SUPPOSED to go to another co-worker of mine, so that I may "vent". But, instead, this DUMB ASS (being me) sent the email to the person with whom I was speaking about. Who is so dumb to do a thing like that? Even worse...what Christian does this to people??????? But, yet again...God showed his grace on me through this person. This person told me that they knew I didn't mean it. And that they forgave me, and that our friendship was too strong to let something like this get in the way. And that we should just forget about it, and go have a beer.
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME???????????????????????????????????????
My friend "H" thinks that God is trying to "whip me into shape" basically. That he is truly trying to teach me a lesson. That he is allowing me to make these mistakes, and feel this bad, so that I can learn from it, truly experience his grace, and move on as a better person.
The thing that makes me SO sad is this: The second person is not a Christian. Actually...they have a rather bad taste in their mouth about Christianity. How in the WORLD could I EVER be "Christ" to that person now? I have totally ruined my witness.
I made Christ look like a fool.
I'm sorry to let you all down. I'm sorry that I'm a person who sins and hurts people. Please pray that God continues to heal me of this.